Embracing Organic Emotions: Even The Negative

Emotions are part of the human cycle. We wake up with an emotion, go throughout our day with a few different emotions, and fall asleep with something either similar to the day, or completely different. Majority of us are taught to always go after something. The big house, the nice car, the best job, the biggest salary, the happiest family and you'll only get there with a positive attitude and hard work. Then, we are taught that negative emotions towards anything are not welcome and we will never succeed to our end goal with a thought process like that.

Whatever "that" means.

From the time I was little I have always struggled with negative emotions and views, of course, mostly towards myself. My negative thoughts were about my capabilities in life, my worth, my personality, my body, my home life. Was I even worthy? I told myself that I'm not supposed to be the pretty one, or the skinny one, or the rich one, or even the child who had parents who were still in love. That wasn't supposed to be me and my life, and only those who deserved all of those things got it. Those were the excuses I needed to tell myself to try and move on from my thoughts. While even though I told myself that maybe this is the way things are because I am not worthy of better, I still didn't like it or even wanted to accept it. I didn't like that I felt ugly in my skin, or felt like others deserved the better outcome, the better grade, the better job opportunities- everything. I still want that too, you know? Perhaps this is similar for you.

It’s important that as human beings we develop our capacity to deal with our thoughts and emotions in a way that isn’t a struggle, in a way that embraces them, is with them and is able to learn from them.
— Susan David

I was introduced to meditation and seriously started practicing it by the time I was 19. Half the time I didn't know what I was doing in the beginning, and majority of the time I couldn't shut my mind off. That's the point of meditation right? To be completely still, quiet and left with no thoughts? Wrong. Meditation allowed me to listen to my body. So every breath, twitch, thought and discomfort I felt was only how my body was trying to communicate with me. I learned that everything was an emotion. My breath is an emotion all on its own. When I was breathing from my chest rather than from my belly I could notice that most commonly my emotion was anxiety and when I feel those short breaths come from my chest I was able to pause and not immediately react.


Beaufort

 

 

Pause here.

Where are you?

What could go wrong by simply being here?

Are you safe? 

Do you need to adjust your body to become more comfortable?

or do you need to breathe deeper into the belly and sink into this position that you are in now?

discomfort is temporary.

deep breath now.

inhale.

pause.

exhale.


When we accept and acknowledge that every feeling, discomfort and thought is only how our body is wishing to tell us something, then immediately every emotion is valid. However, it's our job to take action. The human body is absolutely magnificent. It knows when to break a sweat because we are overheating and it's trying to cool us down, it knows when it wants to cry because we are conflicted over a scenario that brings an overwhelming sense of anger or sadness, our body knows when to expel waste from our body and signal us to let go because what is currently inside is not going to serve our bodies in any shape or form and it wants to let go of that energy so it can move on to greater things. It's funny that all the things we don't want to do, like break a sweat or sit down and cry, are all the things that our body not only wants to do, but that we are meant to do to simply be human. Why are we backing off from wanting to be anything other than us? What is so wrong with being a god damn human being?

Having negative emotions are valid and real but should not be the end all be all for you. The irony is that resisting or trying to push away your “negative” feelings only intensifies them. Just because you have this emotion, does not mean that you must allow it to overtake every part of your being.

Remember to embrace, acknowledge, pause and then ask yourself if you need to move away from whichever situation is making you feel this way and if there is an underlying message here. Perhaps because you feel that you're not able to have "x" is all of the more reason why you deserve it. You feel like you don't deserve something, because why? Because you have gone through this, that, then that again and why would the world ever provide you with something that you feel like you are not worthy of? Doesn't that sound like revenge?

The world is not out to get you dear one. The world is full of possibility, magic and pure life. It doesn't matter where you came from, it matters how you are going to take those lessons and transform it and news flash, that end to your beginning belief is perhaps only to be a stay at home mother to nurture her baby, and maybe not to be this corporate leading woman who makes six figures a year. The value of the dollar is not the value of our life and our wisdom. You being a stay at home mother to the most beautiful and humbled child is equal to that power house woman who is taking on those boys at the office. Nothing is a competition and remember that our universe has already set up our life, and when we can stop comparing and start embracing, doesn't that make life so much easier?

Shame is so pervasive and so elusive, that many times we don’t even know when it is operant.
— Kimberly Johnson

How You Can Start Listening

  1. Start with a meditation practice. Meditation is a powerful tool to become submissive to your underlying emotions and sensations. Ask yourself why you are feeling this way, and your body will answer.
  2. Ease into a yoga practice. Gentle movement is a great way to listen to tension within your body and then submerge yourself into a stretch to release all emotions that are being held within one space of your body. Yoga is a very kind practice and is great for those who struggle with self shaming.

  3. Make mindful choices. How can a simple yes and no change the outcome of your emotion? How will a simple word make you feel with the action that will then follow it? Only allow space for things that will serve you to the greatest good.

  4. Check in with your heart. Our heart holds the purest of emotions and is the most truthful guide. Ask your heart where you should go, then tell your soul to take you there.

  5. Your truth is no one else's. Listen to this fact, and the rest is simple. Remember to pause when a situation arises that makes you question, and then ask yourself if this is your truth, or your programming

Lightness of being in my body will be my indicator of happiness.
— Deepak Chopra