Why Meditation Allowed Me To Find Myself
We all tend to hit these roadblocks within our lifetime where we are not sure who we are, what we are supposed to be, what we are going to do, and how we are going to get there. That seems to be a theme within all of us. I have always actually found that to be comforting, in knowing that I am not the only one who feels lost in a big world. Of course, we all start to feel this at different points of our life, and unfortunately for some, these feelings follow for the rest of their lives.
Ever since I was a little girl, I always had big dreams. I knew that I would be the driving force for any success that came to me, but I, of course, didn't know how I would get there. I'm still working on it. Although, when I think of success, I don't think of a million dollar mansion or the newest and fastest car, I instead think of internal peace, taking care of my family someday, giving back to my community, building a big family, seeing the world and just being absolutely content with my life. That sounds like the American Dream, to me at least.
I left home to live on my own with my boyfriend only 3 months after I graduated high school and it was the best and worst decision of my life. It was the worst because I felt like I left and made my family think that I didn't want to be around them anymore, or that I hated being there so much that I couldn't last another year, and I knew deep down it hurt a lot of people. Especially my mother, but I know her and the rest of my family are rather proud of the woman I have become today, and how well I have actually done for myself and only being in my early 20's.
Besides my family, Caleb and my friends being so supportive in everything I wanted to do, or be, I have learned to find solace in myself, but that improvement is still being worked on, I think we all work on that for almost our whole lives. Although, it wasn't until 2 years ago that I finally dug out of a deep depression within myself. I wasn't depressed because I was unhappy with my relationship, or that I wasn't making money, or that everything was going wrong, but because I truly hated myself. Everything about myself. I couldn't stand to even look at myself in a mirror because there wasn't a single thing that I found appealing physically or internally- but this isn't about my body issues, or how I have improved, or how I am still struggling, but how I found a tool to help me find who I am inside and outside, and how I think it could help you too.
So often we label ourselves as the "teacher", "wife", "husband", "accountant" or the "manager", but rarely these terms satisfy who we really are on the inside. For so long we try to just be okay with simple titles, but the reality is that us human beings are so complex that we can't possibly only be defined by a label and simply be okay.
Getting involved with a meditation practice can allow us all to dive deep into our feelings, our body, our light, our force, our being. I think meditation get's a bad rap because so often it's associated with hippies- but it's time to throw that stereotype out the window for good.
Meditation is for everyone. Young or old, anyone is able to meditate in a way that is comfortable for them, and makes sense for them. You can meditate while lying on the couch, taking a walk, doing what you love, or simply sitting in an upright position with your spine shooting up for the stars, and allowing your mind to focus on your body and breath and being able to receive internal messages that have been there all along.
While we go through our everyday busy lives, we tend to forget to take time for ourselves and to listen. Meditation allows you to bring forth the messages that have been dying to be told. While we meditate we are able to listen to the needs of our body and soul, and we are able to transform our lives around these new found feelings and then we will be able to drive our life into the direction that it always wanted to go, naturally.
I have been meditating for just a little over two years now, and it has allowed me to take time for myself and listen. I don't think I would be the person I am today without it. I don't think I would be writing this at all without it. In fact, I know I wouldn't. I've been able to take in messages of self acceptance that I've been wanting all my life. I am finally okay with everything physical about me. That's not to say that I don't have my days, but I have a tool that reminds me why I am perfectly me. I've been able to find messages about my health and well being, I've been able to take in messages about my career path and that is to educate and be a force of light and guidance for other people. I've been able to love harder, and be compassionate for our earth and the creatures who reside. I've been able to be who I have always been, all thanks to meditating for a few minutes a day.